To learn more about yourself, answer the following questions: What are my strengths? ․․․․․ What emotional and spiritual needs do I have? It would make little sense to walk around in a pair of shoes that just didn’t fit! Over time, more than a few members of the opposite sex may catch your eye. After all, you want someone you’ll be comfortable with—someone who truly fits your personality and your goals. Another factor to consider: Is the person manipulative, possessive, or jealous? “I hear of dating couples who fight because one person can’t stand that the other hasn’t constantly ‘checked in,’” says Nicole. Issues such as those raised above focus on personality and conduct.
․․․․․ Getting to know yourself is no small task, but questions like those above can get you started. (Genesis ; Matthew 19:4-6) Have you found such a person? However, it’s just as important to learn something of your friend’s reputation. You may want to talk to those who have known this —Acts 16:1, 2.
What should you say when the time comes to speak up?
The apostle Paul urged Christians to “speak truth” with one another.
Proverbs 22:3 says: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself.” If, for example, your friend exhibits one or more of the danger signs found on pages 39 and 40, it would be best to end the relationshipa permanent bond.
It’s better to live with short-term pain now than suffer with lifelong regret later! Well, think how would like to be treated in such a situation.
State clearly why you feel that this relationship won’t work a serious reason. Aftermath of a Breakup Don’t be surprised if you’re deeply upset for a time after the breakup.
next to the four traits you feel are most important.
□ Good-looking □ Spiritually-minded □ Friendly □ Trustworthy □ Popular □ Morally upright □ Funny □ Goal-oriented When you were younger, did you ever develop a crush on anyone? Wouldn’t you agree, though, that when you’re in the grip of a youthful crush, you tend to dwell on the more superficial qualities, such as those in the left-hand column?
Breaking the News How should you go about breaking up? (Matthew ) Would you want the announcement to be made in front of others? Unless circumstances make it advisable, it would be best not to terminate a relationship by means of a telephone answering machine, a text message, or an e-mail.
Instead, choose a time and place that will enable you to discuss this serious matter.
The more you understand yourself, the better equipped you will be to find someone who will amplify your strengths rather than your weaknesses.* What if you think you’ve found that person? If so, how can you tell if that one is right for you? It might be revealing to jot down your personal observations as to how your friend measures up in the areas discussed so far.