I have been with my BF for awhile now, but I have caught a lot of slack for it because of when we met.
Yes, I am the first person that he went out with after he became separated from the XW.
He says the marriage was never good and he knew a year before the separation that things were over.
Then I come along…we met a month after she moved out (a lot of her stuff was still in the house, etc.
I just really believe that love may be possible for me after all and I don’t want to quash any potential dates on the basis of some arbitrary rule.
Congratulations, Ann, on having the courage to leave a situation that was making you miserable.
Post separation is an emotional roller coaster and thinking you’ve mourned fully during the marriage is a sure sign that you are not very far down the path of emotional recovery. Those people may also be on the rebound, they may be narcissists that specifically look for vulnerable women, but healthy people want to be with someone that has some distance from their marriage.
It is natural to be curious about what is out there and to desperately crave love and passion after a bad marriage. My advice is to go to counseling, take a few months to sort out the legal stuff and then, once the legal stuff is signed and dealt with, date.
He spent 10 years saying, “well maybe after (insert life event) happens, things will get better.” They did counseling, they tried having a bunch of reconnecting vacations, all kinds of stuff.I should mention I have two small children and I don’t want to rush anything.I just want to ride this wave of optimism because I’ve never felt so confident and lovable before. I don’t have a strong attachment to any man in particular right now.And if you’re gonna do it, just make sure you’re prepared, and you’ll have an incredible time meeting the kind of guy who will appreciate you for all that you are.As a divorced person, the urge to date is strong after separation, but as ready as you feel now and as much relief as you are feeling, you have a lot of mourning left to do.
So now that you read all that, I guess my question is, is anyone marrying the first person they dated after their separation started?